When you spend every day with your spouse like I do, you truly start to see him or her like your best friend. My husband is the one person I can go to whenever I have a problem, and he is the one person that I can share every story from my life with. Some people think that this is not a healthy relationship to have though. In theory, spouses need other friends in order to grow as a couple. There are pros and cons to both sides of that story, so you need to weigh out your options before you get into a best friend situation with your spouse. Let’s take a look at both sides to help you determine what you should do with your spouse.
Does Outside Support Help or Hurt in a Fight?
When you have a lot of friends outside of your marriage, you are most likely going to turn to them when you are having a fight. They can listen to your side of the argument and support your decision – whatever it may be. It is nice to have that kind of support as a whole because it takes a weight off your mind. Nevertheless, it could make your fights last longer because you and your spouse are both pumped up about your decisions. If no one is willing to cave, the fight may never end. My husband and I are forced to work things out on our own because we are the sole support systems for one another. We don’t need a legal assistant to mediate our fights. I think it makes us stronger as a couple.
Do Spouses Need Time Apart?
One of the biggest reasons why people say spouses shouldn’t be best friends is because they are supposed to maintain their individual identities. Husbands and wives are supposed to have space every now and then to maintain their own identities. While I can see the point in trying to establish yourself as an individual, I personally do not think that should happen in a marriage. You signed up to be a unit, not to live your own life. If you wanted to do that, you should have job gotten a roommate. This is just my opinion of course. You can think as you want. I just don’t see the purpose of alone time if you are in a committed relationship.
Is Clinginess Unhealthy?
My husband and I spend every waking moment together in the day, and we call each other when we run separate errands just to make sure the other person is doing okay. Some people may think that sort of relationship is unhealthy, and I can see why. It is a little nuts to have a couple wanting to spend so much time together, but that is a rhythm that works for us. If this is unhealthy, then I guess we don’t like health. We prefer having the deepest bond that two people could possibly have.
So, Should Your Spouse Be Your Best Friend?
I think you are the only person that can answer that quest for yourself. If you feel that you would benefit from having a lot of friends outside of the marriage, then find them. If you like the idea of sharing every single detail about your life with your spouse, you can share with him or her like you would a best friend. I am proud to say that my husband is my best friend, and I think that is a setup that really works for us. That is not the case with a lot of other couples though. Think about how you and your spouse interact with one another and figure out what a good balance of time may be. Then you will be able to come up with a setup that works well for you.