Arguments happen in marriages. Plain and simple. I don’t care how much you have in common with your spouse or how well the two of you get along. There will come a time when you both just don’t see eye to eye. My husband is my best friend and I am his as well, but we have at least a little fight probably once a week. It’s just a side effect of being with someone for long periods of time. As much as fighting sucks, it is something that can be fixed pretty easily. You just have to know how to end arguments before they spiral out of control. Here are some clinical psychology tips that can help you end the arguments that come up in your marriage.
Acknowledge What You Did Wrong
The main point of an argument is usually to get one of the spouses to admit that he or she was wrong about something. If you can acknowledge where things went wrong on your side of the argument, you may be able to get your spouse to do the same. Then you can at least try to establish a common ground that you can both agree on. If you aren’t willing to man up to the problems though, your spouse won’t be either. The fight will just continue from there.
Don’t Go to Bed
If you go to bed before a fight is over, the feelings have a chance to fester over night. That could make what would have been a two hour argument into a two day argument or more. Going to sleep in the middle of a confrontation shows your spouse that you don’t care, and that is sure to backfire in your face. If you can work things out before you go to sleep though. This will surely give you better sleep so you can get through the next day with ease.
Ask “Why Are We Doing This?”
That simple question has ended countless arguments in my marriage, and I’m sure it would work for you as well. By asking “Why are we doing this?” you let your spouse know that you want to stop fighting. This will give you both a chance to explain how stupid you think the argument is so you can laugh about it and reconnect. Rather than holding a grudge against your spouse, you just need to focus on ending the fight. That is going to make you both happier in the end.
Most people say that a happy wife is a happy life, but the same theory applies to husbands too. Both people in a marriage need to be happy if it is going to last. Hopefully the tips above will help you end your next argument so you can get back to the happy marriage you once had.