Bonding – the art of stifling your vomit long enough to spend time with another person that you care about. Not to be confused with bondage – the art of, well, you know. This is something that is lacking in a lot of modern day marriages, mainly because everyone is on such a tight schedule. With work and school consuming much of the average 20-something’s day, it is no wonder why younger couples barely get time to bond with one another. No matter how stressed or busy you may be throughout the week though, you really need to make a positive effort to bond with the person you love. It could literally make or break your relationship over time. Here are just a few reasons why you may want to bond with your spouse in the future.
Staying Informed
It is nice to know what is going on in your spouse’s life. That allows each of you to feel important to the other person, and it ensures that you don’t miss out on vital moments in your marriage. When you bond with the other person, you get a chance to share stories with him or her. These stories may be about nothingness, but they are forms of connection that you will both grow to truly cherish over time. My husband always pretends to fall asleep when I tell a story because my conversations really are pretty boring. At the end of the day though, I think he just likes being able to listen to me talk. You can test this out with your spouse and see if you feel the same.
Sharing the Love
At the end of the day, bonding is all about sharing your love for someone else with him or her. This doesn’t have to be a long, drawn out process. You’re not getting a forensic psychology degree for crying out loud. It can be something as simple as watching TV on the couch together. My husband and I talked for four hours last night about a move we’re making six months from now, just because we got heavily involved in our bonding. When you can immerse yourself in a conversation for that long with someone you have known for years, you know that your bonding is a success. Keep all of this in mind as you make an effort to bond with your spouse in the future.
Rekindling the Romance
The newlywed phase of marriage does not last forever. Eventually, you will both look at each other and think, “Wow, this is what I have to work with for all of eternity? Damn.” This has nothing to do with not loving the other person. It just has to do with being familiar with him or her. When you get to that “familiar” stage, it is really hard to keep the romance alive. There is no spark left – nothing to just set your pants on fire (if you know what I mean). Sometimes all you need is a little bit of bonding time to refuel you marital passion and keep things going again.
Avoiding the “C” Word
In this case, I mean cheating. Get your head out of the gutter people. 9 times out of 10, a married person will cheat because he or she feels neglected, ignored, and unwanted. The simple act of bonding can go a long way in deterring the need to cheat. There is no excuse for cheating on either end, but there are reasons behind it. A lack of bonding just happens to be one of them. If you feel your spouse growing distant from you, hang on tight. You may ignore the problem just long enough to send him or her into the arms of someone else.